


Rivalry

by hatebeat



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 09:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatebeat/pseuds/hatebeat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skwisgaar and Magnus decide who is better. Circa 1995.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rivalry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady_Rougarou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Rougarou/gifts).



> Prompt: "Magnus/Skwisgaar, rivalry."

The argument had broken out while the five of them were watching a tape from the rental place in the living room. They finally got a VCR that worked again from the thrift store and they were celebrating with some good liquor and a crappy VHS.

The argument broke out around the time they broke open their fourth bottle. When recalled later, nobody except maybe William would remember how it started, but it only lasted about four minutes before Nathan stood up from the couch and grabbed Magnus by the bicep and Skwisgaar by the front of his shirt.

"Get the fuck out of here if you two are going to fight," he growled. "You're ruining the movie."

"Dude, you've seen this movie like a million times," Pickles teased.

But Skwisgaar was inflamed. "Fines!" He snatched up his guitar. "Gets you's guitars, Hammersmith. We finds out who ams right."

Skwisgaar stormed into their shared bedroom and sat down on his twin bed, stuffing the cable snaking out from his practice amp into his guitar. When Magnus didn't follow him, Skwisgaar slammed an offended riff on his guitar, and called out, "You's coming, Hammersmiths?"

Magnus waltzed in a minute later and leaned in the doorjamb.

"Calm down, Skwigelf. Let's just go watch the movie with everyone."

"Nos," Skwisgaar said, disgust on his face. "I proves it to you. I amn't wrongs, you hears it."

Skwisgaar started to play. The song in question was 'Living Autopsy', which they'd recorded for their recent demo. "This ams the chords, the C7s, you plays it wrong when we does it on the tape."

"How could I play it wrong, it was _my_ song," Magnus pointed out, but he grabbed the Les Paul leaning against the foot of his bed regardless and sat down on his own mattress, facing Skwisgaar.

"Listens to you, it ams wrongs."

"I'm playing C7, you idiot." 

"Pfft," Skwisgaar scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Looks at you's finger, you plays C major 7, doesn't even knows the different."

"Where the hell did you learn how to play guitar? I know what the hell I'm doing, asshole," Magnus snapped, finally starting to get angry, but that was when he seemed to finally notice that his fingers weren't mirroring Skwisgaar's at all.

Skwisgaar set his guitar down and got to his feet, and a lesser man may have flinched with the way Skwisgaar came at him, but Magnus didn't move. Skwisgaar wasn't trying to hurt him, anyway. He just grabbed Magnus' frethand and re-positioned it.

"There. Now you sees it."

"I wrote the guitar part, Skwigelf- this isn't how I wrote it!"

"Ja, but sounds betters," Skwisgaar shrugged, his calm returning once he'd figured out he was right. 

Magnus didn't respond for a moment, falling back into the song, but this time playing it the way that Skwisgaar had. "I guess it does sound a little more cohesive," he admitted finally. 

"Ja, I just knows better than yous." Skwisgaar slunk down onto his back on the bed, hefting his Explorer across his stomach.

"Watch it, Skwigelf," Magnus growled. "You may be pretty good at guitar, but I'm still better than you at pretty much everything else."

Skwisgaar let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Foirst of alls, that amn'ts true. And also B, I doesn't cares nothings about what's ams not the guitars playing."

"Heh, well you should care about some things," Magnus pointed out.

"Likes what's the example?" Skwisgaar returned, his tone bored.

"Well, you like to think you're pretty good with the ladies," Magnus taunted him. "But I'm probably better."

"Ha, nots in all of you's dreams, Hammersmiths."

"I've got more experience," Magnus pointed out. "You're still just a kid."

"Sos, who care? Probably just mean I gets more libel than does you, olds guy." 

"Libel?" Magnus asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

"Libeldo, whatevers."

" _Libido_ , idiot."

"Whatevers, I doesn't cares nothing 'bouts English, I tells you I only cares about plays the guitars," Skwisgaar said, starting to get frustrated.

"And sex. Which we've established that I'm better at than you," Magnus taunted.

"You thinks so goods at sex, so proves it, Mr. Dont's-Knows-His-Chords! Goes on," Skwisgaar sneered.

Magnus leaned up on one elbow, smirking over toward Skwisgaar's bed. "How the hell d'you want me to prove it? Have a threesome with some chick and then ask her who fucked her better?"

"How's 'bout you stops you's dildos mouth by shoves in it my cock, ah? Then I tells you who gives the better sex."

"You're telling me to suck your dick?" Magnus chuckled, and that wasn't the reaction Skwisgaar expected. "Alright, but doesn't seem like that's really enough to prove anything."

"Wait, you says you going to sucks my cock?" Skwisgaar asked, sitting up halfway to give Magnus a strange look. "You's into guys?"

"Nah, not normally." Magnus got up from his bed and set his guitar aside, crossing the gap to Skwisgaar's bed and sitting down on the edge of it. His hand went straight to tugging at the zipper on Skwisgaar's jeans.

"Then what's the fucks you ams doesings right now?"

"I'm proving a point," Magnus said, his voice low. "I'm sure you'll return the favour when I'm done. ...Besides, you're almost pretty enough to be a girl."

Skwisgaar made a sound of disgust deep in his throat, but he fisted a hand in Magnus' hair, yanking his head down toward his groin.

\---

When the two of them finally returned to the living room, the light from the tv screen was painting the whole room blue, the movie long since forgotten about. Dried blood was crusted around one of Skwisgaar's nostrils, and Magnus' lower lip was split open. 

"Hey, did you guys figure out, you know, the thing?" Pickles asked, his words slurring a little.

"Ja," Skwisgaar agreed, crossing his arms across his chest, and Magnus snatched up the closest bottle of liquor from a protesting William's hand for a long drink.


End file.
